As I practically beg for time to start running so that I can have summer, I've made a realization:
I like "College Lauren" better than "At Home in Stougton Lauren". And it's a bit of a strange thing. I don't want to go back and be the same person in order to fit the mold of a familiar friendship. I want to stay friends with those people, but I want to be the same person I am here. I don't want to divert back to who I was in high school. I've changed so much here.
And although I'm not going to give up on my friendships from high school, I'm not going to be so incredibly hurt if things fall apart...or so I tell myself now.
I don't want the things that controlled my life for so long to control it anymore.
So, I'm excited for summer, excited to go home, excited to see people, and hopefully I won't be shoved back into being who I was a year ago. I've seen it happen before - I've seen college students come home different, and then gradually, in hanging out with their old friends, start acting the exact same way. And sometimes they don't notice it, and sometimes it's definite acting.
And I would really not like to be either of those, thank you very much.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Greetings from Joburg!
So, it's 9:17pm here, and I'm using what little internet time I've got to keep everyone at home posted.
Tonight is my night to blog on the WOCO blog, but I completely forgot the username and don't know who has that information at the moment. So, lucky I've got my own blog, I guess.
I'll try to be brief, since I only have 9 minutes left before this thing kicks me off :)
This trip has changed me in so many ways. I feel so blessed to have had this opportunity. I think you find out a lot about yourself when you step out of your comfort zone. And this trip has definitely been that. I've tried a variety of things I've never eaten before (including mussles, squid, ostrich and as of today, crocodile) and I've learned a ton about the many different cultures here.
They aren't kidding when they call this the Rainbow Nation. There is so much variety here - they have 11 different official languages. I can speak one of them (English) understand bits and pieces of another (Afrikaans)and enjoy sitting back and listening to the others. I feel like my eyes have been opened to so much more in the past few days than they were from years of living in my own country.
So, today's agenda:
We got up at 4:45 (ugh) to a stormy sky for a morning safari. The thunder last night was so loud! It sounded like the sky would rip in two. I got up and went to the door and listened to the animals outside. The frogs were making music.
It rained on our safari and most of us got wet. The seats were pretty soaked, and so were our butts :)
But we did see Giraffes today, among other things. It basically completed everything I wanted to see. (I'll give you a full list when I have more time!) Some girls were lucky enough to see two male Lions snacking on a Wildebeast, but I was not one of them.
Luckily, the weather cleared up. We were treated to an awesome breakfast after the Safari, and then we headed out. We drove about 1 1/2 hours to a cultural village called Lesidi (which means light) They had walk through villages of the Zulu, Bashoto, Xhosa and Pedi tribes. Everyone was in authentic clothes and we were taught several phrases for each language. After walking through, we watched a number of traditional dances done by the people there. During the Zulu dance, they all kicked so high that they touched their foreheads. Wowza.
We were given plenty of shopping time, and then we were driven to Petoria for a quick photo op at the spot where Nelson Mandela was was inaugerated. Amazing.
Since then, we've had time at our hotel. It's a nice way to relax after a long couple of days. Tomorrow we visit the Soweto district (South Western Townships) of Johannesburg. It should be really eye opening.
Love to all!
Lauren
Tonight is my night to blog on the WOCO blog, but I completely forgot the username and don't know who has that information at the moment. So, lucky I've got my own blog, I guess.
I'll try to be brief, since I only have 9 minutes left before this thing kicks me off :)
This trip has changed me in so many ways. I feel so blessed to have had this opportunity. I think you find out a lot about yourself when you step out of your comfort zone. And this trip has definitely been that. I've tried a variety of things I've never eaten before (including mussles, squid, ostrich and as of today, crocodile) and I've learned a ton about the many different cultures here.
They aren't kidding when they call this the Rainbow Nation. There is so much variety here - they have 11 different official languages. I can speak one of them (English) understand bits and pieces of another (Afrikaans)and enjoy sitting back and listening to the others. I feel like my eyes have been opened to so much more in the past few days than they were from years of living in my own country.
So, today's agenda:
We got up at 4:45 (ugh) to a stormy sky for a morning safari. The thunder last night was so loud! It sounded like the sky would rip in two. I got up and went to the door and listened to the animals outside. The frogs were making music.
It rained on our safari and most of us got wet. The seats were pretty soaked, and so were our butts :)
But we did see Giraffes today, among other things. It basically completed everything I wanted to see. (I'll give you a full list when I have more time!) Some girls were lucky enough to see two male Lions snacking on a Wildebeast, but I was not one of them.
Luckily, the weather cleared up. We were treated to an awesome breakfast after the Safari, and then we headed out. We drove about 1 1/2 hours to a cultural village called Lesidi (which means light) They had walk through villages of the Zulu, Bashoto, Xhosa and Pedi tribes. Everyone was in authentic clothes and we were taught several phrases for each language. After walking through, we watched a number of traditional dances done by the people there. During the Zulu dance, they all kicked so high that they touched their foreheads. Wowza.
We were given plenty of shopping time, and then we were driven to Petoria for a quick photo op at the spot where Nelson Mandela was was inaugerated. Amazing.
Since then, we've had time at our hotel. It's a nice way to relax after a long couple of days. Tomorrow we visit the Soweto district (South Western Townships) of Johannesburg. It should be really eye opening.
Love to all!
Lauren
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Africa, Here I Come!
I will be leaving for Africa in 8 hours. HOLY CRAP.
I've got so much to think about, my head is going to explode. I cannot get out a single sentence that makes sense.
I'm listening to "Africa" by Toto. People keep asking me if I'm excited. I'm too nervous about flying to know. Some things don't change, I suppose.
If you want to follow the trip, the blog address of WOCO is
http://wocosouthafrica.blogspot.com/
I'll put it on the side toolbar. Hopefully I'll be able to write here too, but don't hold your breath... but I'll be posting on the WOCO blog for sure, at least twice. :)
Just to remind you, guess where I'll be by 9:30 tomorrow night?
I've got so much to think about, my head is going to explode. I cannot get out a single sentence that makes sense.
I'm listening to "Africa" by Toto. People keep asking me if I'm excited. I'm too nervous about flying to know. Some things don't change, I suppose.
If you want to follow the trip, the blog address of WOCO is
http://wocosouthafrica.blogspot.com/
I'll put it on the side toolbar. Hopefully I'll be able to write here too, but don't hold your breath... but I'll be posting on the WOCO blog for sure, at least twice. :)
Just to remind you, guess where I'll be by 9:30 tomorrow night?
Friday, March 6, 2009
A Year
Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago.
Bernard Berenson
I realize I'm coming up on the "year" marker of this page. How strange. This page has been anything but constant in the almost year it's been around.
I began it with the hope of finding other people to share goals with. I'm glad that that project has been started with Lessons, but that left me wondering, "what is THIS page for?"
I have a journal that I write in for reflection or importance. So what is this? I've thought about shutting it down many times, especially throughout the summer. But when I left for school, my mom gave out the address to my family. And this is an easier way of keeping people updated when you've been blessed with such a large family :) It's unnerving though, sometimes, not knowing who exactly is reading this. There are people I would definitely prefer not to read this, but I suppose that's the risk you run putting your thoughts on the internet.
I ask myself though, why I felt the need to start this in the first place. I suppose I felt the need for growth and change when I started this page. Which was stupid of me, looking back. Self-induced growth is never for the right reasons, I think. It would be nice if you could look at yourself in the mirror and say, "Grow!" and it happened. I think if it did, my brother would be much bigger than he is. :P (He called me last night, by the way. He never calls, so it was really exciting that he wanted to talk to me. I miss him like crazy. There's no one like him around here)
Jokes aside, we're always growing. And it was an unfortunate decision of mine to try to stay "fixed" as I was my Senior year, because second semester I decided I had to catch up on growth and boom, here this page is. I think it takes a lot of courage to admit that this started for a stupid reason. I felt the need to be more mature and changed, since one of the most important people in my life told me I wasn't good enough.
And as I approach THAT year marker, I've had a lot to think about as well. It's amazing how much we change in a year, isn't it?
And yet how the same we feel...
As Jason Robert Brown so perfectly captures, one minute you think you've got everything, and in the next, you're a complete stranger to yourself.
I leave for Africa in 2 days. I don't think I will come back the same person.
A new world calls across the ocean....
Bernard Berenson
I realize I'm coming up on the "year" marker of this page. How strange. This page has been anything but constant in the almost year it's been around.
I began it with the hope of finding other people to share goals with. I'm glad that that project has been started with Lessons, but that left me wondering, "what is THIS page for?"
I have a journal that I write in for reflection or importance. So what is this? I've thought about shutting it down many times, especially throughout the summer. But when I left for school, my mom gave out the address to my family. And this is an easier way of keeping people updated when you've been blessed with such a large family :) It's unnerving though, sometimes, not knowing who exactly is reading this. There are people I would definitely prefer not to read this, but I suppose that's the risk you run putting your thoughts on the internet.
I ask myself though, why I felt the need to start this in the first place. I suppose I felt the need for growth and change when I started this page. Which was stupid of me, looking back. Self-induced growth is never for the right reasons, I think. It would be nice if you could look at yourself in the mirror and say, "Grow!" and it happened. I think if it did, my brother would be much bigger than he is. :P (He called me last night, by the way. He never calls, so it was really exciting that he wanted to talk to me. I miss him like crazy. There's no one like him around here)
Jokes aside, we're always growing. And it was an unfortunate decision of mine to try to stay "fixed" as I was my Senior year, because second semester I decided I had to catch up on growth and boom, here this page is. I think it takes a lot of courage to admit that this started for a stupid reason. I felt the need to be more mature and changed, since one of the most important people in my life told me I wasn't good enough.
And as I approach THAT year marker, I've had a lot to think about as well. It's amazing how much we change in a year, isn't it?
And yet how the same we feel...
As Jason Robert Brown so perfectly captures, one minute you think you've got everything, and in the next, you're a complete stranger to yourself.
I leave for Africa in 2 days. I don't think I will come back the same person.
A new world calls across the ocean....
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
The Results Are In
Sorry to keep you waiting Ann! I told my mom she could call you :)
To my most pleasant surprise, I am now officially 1 of 11 women working as an RA in the Towers North staff. I cannot begin to express my excitement, along with my nervousness.
I am excited that I succeeded, that the committee could see I would be good for the job, and that I no longer have to pay room & board. But it's so much more than that. It's a lot of responsibility and commitment, which I am ready for. I hope that I can be a positive role model for the girls living on my floor next year. I'll need to be ready to handle anything. I hope I can form a real connection with them, and help them with problems when needed. It's soooo different to think of myself as an RA. I'm 19 years old, and a sophomore (by status). Next year I'll be a sophomore/junior, but that's so different than having Lia, my current RA, around. She's been an RA for a couple years and she definitely knows what she's doing.
Hopefully after all my training and prep this summer, I'll know exactly what I'm doing.
I like knowing that I'm taking a more active part in my community in EC! :)
To my most pleasant surprise, I am now officially 1 of 11 women working as an RA in the Towers North staff. I cannot begin to express my excitement, along with my nervousness.
I am excited that I succeeded, that the committee could see I would be good for the job, and that I no longer have to pay room & board. But it's so much more than that. It's a lot of responsibility and commitment, which I am ready for. I hope that I can be a positive role model for the girls living on my floor next year. I'll need to be ready to handle anything. I hope I can form a real connection with them, and help them with problems when needed. It's soooo different to think of myself as an RA. I'm 19 years old, and a sophomore (by status). Next year I'll be a sophomore/junior, but that's so different than having Lia, my current RA, around. She's been an RA for a couple years and she definitely knows what she's doing.
Hopefully after all my training and prep this summer, I'll know exactly what I'm doing.
I like knowing that I'm taking a more active part in my community in EC! :)
Monday, March 2, 2009
Waiting for the Results
I wonder, how do people running for public office feel?
I have 4 hours to wait until I find out whether I have been hired as a resident assistant or not.
The letter is sitting in my mailbox back in the dorms, waiting for me. But I happen to have night class until 7:30, so the letter and I will not be aquainted until then.
I am trying to be calm about this. This is so different than any play I've ever auditioned for. This is not about glory, or lead roles or anything. It's about a role of leadership and responsibility. And whether I am cut out for it.
I have to believe that God has a plan, whatever way this goes. And it's not a blow to swiftly fleeting self esteem.
If they don't hire me, it's ok. Either way, I win. I'll be happy either way next year. There is a plan.
But man, it is ridiculously nerve-wrecking to sit here waiting. AAGH. So how was the election for you, President Obama?
heh.
Where did my readers go? Not that there were many to begin with, and I know my life's not so interesting. But, I don't hear much from you these days. I'd love to hear your stories. :)
With love,
Lauren
Chariot, give me your strength. ~ Gavin DeGraw
I have 4 hours to wait until I find out whether I have been hired as a resident assistant or not.
The letter is sitting in my mailbox back in the dorms, waiting for me. But I happen to have night class until 7:30, so the letter and I will not be aquainted until then.
I am trying to be calm about this. This is so different than any play I've ever auditioned for. This is not about glory, or lead roles or anything. It's about a role of leadership and responsibility. And whether I am cut out for it.
I have to believe that God has a plan, whatever way this goes. And it's not a blow to swiftly fleeting self esteem.
If they don't hire me, it's ok. Either way, I win. I'll be happy either way next year. There is a plan.
But man, it is ridiculously nerve-wrecking to sit here waiting. AAGH. So how was the election for you, President Obama?
heh.
Where did my readers go? Not that there were many to begin with, and I know my life's not so interesting. But, I don't hear much from you these days. I'd love to hear your stories. :)
With love,
Lauren
Chariot, give me your strength. ~ Gavin DeGraw
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