A Predicament

As I practically beg for time to start running so that I can have summer, I've made a realization:

I like "College Lauren" better than "At Home in Stougton Lauren". And it's a bit of a strange thing. I don't want to go back and be the same person in order to fit the mold of a familiar friendship. I want to stay friends with those people, but I want to be the same person I am here. I don't want to divert back to who I was in high school. I've changed so much here.

And although I'm not going to give up on my friendships from high school, I'm not going to be so incredibly hurt if things fall apart...or so I tell myself now.
I don't want the things that controlled my life for so long to control it anymore.

So, I'm excited for summer, excited to go home, excited to see people, and hopefully I won't be shoved back into being who I was a year ago. I've seen it happen before - I've seen college students come home different, and then gradually, in hanging out with their old friends, start acting the exact same way. And sometimes they don't notice it, and sometimes it's definite acting.

And I would really not like to be either of those, thank you very much.