How Romantic

There is something to be said about Romanticism. For the first time since the Baroque (1600-1750), Europe once again saw a sweeping movement of emotion in music, art and architecture. Gone (yet again...) were the days of logic! The heart ruled supreme!
There is something great about Mozart's simple cadences, ebbing and flowing. They bring excitement, joy, surprise, sadness...but I am starting to truly appreciate romanticism (and gosh and golly gee, we aren't even going to cover it 'till after Spring Break!)

I was just listening to Fanny Mendelssohn's String Quartet in E Flat Major. The woman was a genius. Now it's onto Gabriel Faure's Piano Quartet No. 1 in C Minor. Thank you Pandora.

I never expected to, but I am loving my major more and more each day. There is so much to discover, so much to create! So much to learn about my art form... I'm still scared, but I will no longer let those fears stop me. And I know I can be successful in what I do. Breaking up with Eric has allowed me to find solace in my music- well, at least the opportunity is there. Over the last few days, I've consistently chosen to mope instead of focusing. But even the thought of digging into my music, something greater than me, is such a release. To be lost in something that has healed so many broken hearts...

On that note (no pun intended) this experience has been very different from the last one...and at the same time, not. It allows me to see how much I've grown. I am much more confident in myself this time around. I have a lot of self-understanding I lacked last time. I'm a lot more easy going on my heart. It's doing everything it can...and I've learned to be understanding and patient. That's all part of the "taking care of myself" thing that everyone keeps telling me to do. I cannot help how important he is to me at this point. My heart is not letting go and my brain telling it to stop isn't going to do anything. I can only physically remove myself, which I am trying to do as much as I am able. And over all, I don't have any negative feelings towards Eric- I can't. We knew things weren't working and we stopped things while things were still salvageable. I still have great fears: being replaced, being unimportant to him, having to start over again...so I'm trying not to think about men so much. I'm still in the part where I can't picture myself with anyone else. And that will change, or we will somehow gravitate towards each other again. Either or, I know I will be fine. In the meantime, my music will become my life. It needs to be if I want to be a successful music major.

...And now I've got Beethoven filling my ears and I wonder how logic could ever have been the dominant thought in his head when he composed this. Such excitement!

So, this weeks Project: What I want to be-

I want to be a student, artist and friend. I want to put my studies before play and GET SLEEP. Take care of myself. Let's hope I stick to this.