An admitted shortcoming of mine is always wanting more. While this keeps me driven and motivated most of the time, it also means that I sometimes take the wonderful things I have in my life for granted. In an effort to be more appreciative of my life and who I am, I am going to document one thing I am thankful for every day, for 25 days (to start- another shortcoming of mine is not starting with small enough goals!) Turns out there are 25 days until Thanksgiving...it's like a planned this all out! I'll be updating this daily, to the best of my ability :)
Day 1:
Today, I am thankful for the memories created with Concert Choir on our tour to Greece last winter. Particularly, this day, when we held hands and sang the Benediction in the tomb of Atreus in Mycenae. The audio clips from this experience warm my heart every time.
"Because if you were to put it with all the others-- then you would see it for what it is: a single voice lost inside a great chorus of others. And, such was the sound that the chorus made together, that to have been a part of it all was enough for me." (Birth of Venus)
Day 2: Today, I am especially thankful for my mother's cooking. As much as I bitched and complained about having to come home instead of staying in EC, I am very fortunate to have homecooked meals FAR more often than I did up there. I am especially fond of her winter dishes-- there's something about the cold outside versus the warmth inside. I love my mother's Chilli. I love it so much that I ate it for 2 out of 3 meals today- sorry I'm not sorry. :)
Speaking of which, I just found a very amusing recipe for 2AM Chili
Day 3: Today, I am thankful for this kid
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As much as we bickered when we were younger, I am happy we are getting along better now. Despite the fact that I am only three years older, it has been really awesome to watch him grow up, especially since he started college. I'm really proud of him, and more thankful than words that he has been such a big part of my life.
Day 4: It's Halloween. Today I'm happy for chocolate. And more specifically, I am thankful that I get to eat a lot of it today without being judged (mostly by myself).
Day 5: Today, I'm thankful for second chances with friends. No dramatic lessons learned today-- sometimes, you just lose touch with people. I was lucky enough today to see a friend of mine that has been absent in my life for more than a year (to nobody's fault). And despite the tragic of the circumstances under which we met today, I count myself blessed to be there for him & his family.
Day 7: Today, I am thankful for time with family. If you know me, you know that I'm crazy about them. What I a special bond I have with my cousins, aunts & uncles. I got to see a great concert with my cousin Liz last night and make dinner with my cousins Alex and Christian and Aunt Ann tonight. Not to say other people don't have great families...but mine is totally awesome :)
Day 8: Today, I'm thankful for the grace and forgiveness of God. I've been...well, not very nice lately. At least, not as nice and kind and forgiving as I can be. And it's not just about "I haven't gone to church that much lately" and "I question what the church says" -- I know that curiosity and questioning is a healthy part of spiritual life and that physically going to church does not make me actively engaged. Sometimes I struggle to define what I believe, especially given how political organized religion is these days. Or how religiously affiliated organized politics is. I struggle to find common ground and lately, I've been choosing politics over God. I've been putting too much of my faith in our worldly, imperfect political system because it's what I feel I can control. I have allowed myself to become polarized. I have thought, "those Tea Party jerks refuse to work with Democrats at all! They're not for the American people! They only accept one type of person as American! They're the worst!" And as much as I dislike their exclusivity, I haven't been very accepting either. Today I was reminded that the universe, and God's plan for it, is much bigger than I am. I have always said that I want my life to be defined by love...and I haven't been doing a very good job of that. A humbling experience, but one I'm grateful for.
Day 9: It's been an interesting day, in both good and bad ways. I thought that this was what I was going to be thankful for today:
(which by the way, I am TOTALLY still thankful for-- seeing Barack Obama, especially so close, was simply amazing)
However, after I got back to school in the afternoon the day become a lot more stressful...a lot. It went from "best day ever!" (exclaimed at 8 am) to "yucky yucky afternoon." So at the end of the day, 2 credits short in science and my upcoming graduation now pending, I had to stop, look up at the stars, take a deep breath and say, "I am thankful that I have the opportunities I have. I am thankful that I even get to go to school and study whatever I want."
However, after I got back to school in the afternoon the day become a lot more stressful...a lot. It went from "best day ever!" (exclaimed at 8 am) to "yucky yucky afternoon." So at the end of the day, 2 credits short in science and my upcoming graduation now pending, I had to stop, look up at the stars, take a deep breath and say, "I am thankful that I have the opportunities I have. I am thankful that I even get to go to school and study whatever I want."
So today I am thankful for opportunity: both to see my president speak and to study music education...even if it ends up taking me a little longer.
Day 10: Simply put, and without any political banter- Today I am thankful that Barack Obama will be president for 4 more years.
Update: I felt it necessary to add this-- this is one of the many reasons why I am thankful for him as a leader. --------------->
Day 11: Today, I am thankful for some awesome coworkers who pull through! I was a little worried I wasn't going to get to stay in Eau Claire for the whole weekend, but some really awesome people I work with picked up my lessons. Thank you!
Day 12: Today, I am thankful for UW-Eau Claire-- I am so so SO thankful to go to a school where I feel like everyone I know and work with wants me to succeed in life. I cannot put into words how great it feels as a student to know that my school and my professors care about me and have my back when I'm in trouble, which I certainly have been in the past few days. I am going to graduate in December. SO thankful.
Day 13: Today, I am thankful to see my friends perform-- even though I am no longer in choir at UWEC, it is such a great pleasure to sit in the front row and watch. (It was the most natural and unnatural thing at the same time). They all did such a great job and I am so proud to come from a school with such wonderful levels of artistry!
Day 15: Today, I was thankful for time with my parents. When I moved back home to student teach, I did so with reluctance. I was so concentrated on the fact that I was going to lose my freedom that I didn't pay attention to what I was gaining. I will never again get to live with my parents...and turns out, they are pretty cool people. We have some good times :)
Day 16: Today I am thankful for afternoon runs-- I don't get the opportunity as much as I'd like with after school activities and work...but today was the perfect day. One of my favorites from today's playlist?
Day 17: Without going into details, today I am thankful for learning from my mistakes. More importantly, I am thankful that I am forgiven for those mistakes.
Day 18: Today, I am thankful for the professors I've had at UWEC that have prepared me so thoroughly for student teaching. A huge thank you to my music professors and Cohort facilitators!
Day 19: Today, I'm thankful for good times with friends. Tonight, some friends and I played Apples to Apples for several hours. Apples to Apples is a pretty standard pastime for us since high school. And as much as I hate to admit it, this is probably the first time in several months that we've all hung out without alcohol. (Not that it's an issue, but it's refreshing to just hang out sometimes)
Day 20: Today, I'm thankful for time spent with my immediate family. My brother came home this weekend to spend time with us-- he made no plans to see his friends. We all saw a movie, we ate dinner together- now that Pat's at school, we don't get these opportunities much anymore.
Day 21: Today, I am thankful for self-reflection. When I "graduated" from 8th grade, my aunt gave me a book/workbook called "Don't Give It Away!" Through the years, I find myself coming back to this book again and again. As a 14 year old, this book was extremely influential in my empowerment as a young woman. Heck, as a 23 year old, this book is still influential in my empowerment as a woman. There are times that it's hard to complete phrases like, "I think my body is _____________________." "I like my body because ________________" Sometimes, I really have to find the silver lining. But it is always a treasure to look at the different times I've filled it in (I date it each time I add something to the book) and see when and how I've grown, but more importantly, what a younger, more accepting version of myself can teach me.
Day 22: Today I am thankful for opportunities I am given!! Today I was asked to sing at my graduation ceremony in December-- WHAT AN HONOR!!
Day 23: Today, I am thankful for those moments when learning is really palpable in the classroom. I don't want to say, "when students learn from me" because it isn't just that. It isn't just knowledge i can pass on, but what we can learn from one another. The students are working on South African freedom songs in choir these days, so we have been talking in depth this week about Apartheid. It is amazing to see the students absorb the events that occurred during this terrible time of South Africa's history, but also what they think and feel about it. Recognizing the hows and whys. Pointing out similar behaviors and mindsets in our own American society. If I could hear the sound of thinking, it would probably be my favorite sound. :)
Day 24: Today I'm thankful for lasting friendship. I spent time with some old friends this evening, and each time I see them, I'm so proud to call them my friends. Sometimes, when I talk to my college friends and I ask them if they'll see their old friends over break, I hear, "nah... we're not really friends anymore. I guess we never really had that much in common." When I look at the depth and level of devotion in my friendships, I don't see the college side as more heavily weighted... I have several people I trust deeply that I've known since I was 12 years old. (I wish I had a more concise way of explaining, but I don't. I suppose you'll have to trust me on this one)
Day 25: It's Thanksgiving Day. I am thankful for many, many things. But for me, Thanksgiving is a holiday of familial love. I am SO THANKFUL to have been born into Clan Crawley. My relatives are so special, and so precious to me.
What I learned from this experience: Simply put, there is a lot in my life to be thankful for. Some (bad, yucky feeling) days, it was hard to think of things, and some (most) days, life felt overflowing with blessing. The important thing is, there was always something to be thankful for. And as I continue on, I need to remember to CHOOSE to find these things.
Thankfully yours,
Lauren
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