Day One: Silence

So here's the report on my first day of the four day test.

Today's challenge was to stay silent unless I felt I had something necessary to say. If what I said in a conversation "makes a difference" then it was worth saying.

I'll admit, I forgot until about 8:30 this morning. I had done a decent amount of useless talking in the first 30 minutes of my honors class, cracking jokes about random things.
I was not silent for the day - I don't think that was the point. In fact, I know that's not the point. The point was to make good, pointed conversations that actually meant something and learning to separate the meaningful stuff from the useless.
And I suppose I could consider most of today a success.

I really noticed how often I trail off into nothingness. I tried to make sure that everything I said today had a point to it- that I wasn't just talking for the sake of it. Part of noticing this is the acknowledgment that I'm a freshman- just as awkward as I was at age 15 stepping into the high school, except I don't have parents I go home to every night. And I've found more here than anywhere else that I feel like I need to say something worth value. I've been so shy in the last 2 months, and I feel like if I don't converse with people, I'll never make friends. So I say something, anything for the sake of saying it.
So now I need to figure out a way to make friends and acquaintances without feeling like that. I know that I can be personable and likeable- so why am I having such a hard time?

This activity has brought on a lot more than I initially expected, but God works that way, I suppose.

Not much more to say than that *smirks*