Sometimes Pictures Change

I've never been much of an artist in the sense of paint brushes, oils and pastels. But I know that in my limited experience in drawing, you have a plan of what you want it to look like, and sometimes (arguably, a lot) it turns out looking like something else. Sometimes better.

Sometimes Pictures change.

The picture of my life that I've been paining in my life has been drastically changing. It was changing senior year, but now I'm almost to the point of ripping the canvas off the easel and making something else entirely.

I've been thinking a lot about my major. yeah, it's a lot of work. But I love it. I love music more than a lot of things. But it may not be enough on its own anymore. When I'm 99 (and a half) and letting go of life, I need to, NEED TO, be able to let go knowing that I left the world a better place than I found it.
And although reaching out to students in a midwestern high school is important, it may not be ENOUGH. I need to do more.

Something has changed within me. Something is not the same. Too late for second guessing. Too late to go back to sleep. It's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap.

I'm not sure yet. I don't know why this fire would suddenly start if it weren't important and worth paying close attention to. My interest and concern in politics has exploded (to most of the people who know me, you'd think it couldn't get any worse, but it totally has) and a lot of my concerns lie in foreign affiars. I think about using my music as a tool to connect to people around the world. Joining the peace corps, teaching in foreign countries, seeing with my own two eyes if everything I guess is truth.

Even now I feel it's heat upon my skin.A life of passion that pulls me from within, A life that I am making to begin.

And I'm not giving up on my major as a Choral Educator. I'll probably do that someday. I have years and years for that. But for now, while my mind is clear and my heart is in the right place, I need to pursue this idea as well.
I think we know how upset I am with our current foreign policy. I want people to know that I am not repesented by George W. Bush and his doctrine of preemptive war. And this itch will not be scratched until I can do something about it.

I've got time to think about it and figure it out. Time to pray about it and figure out what God wants me to do with my life.
But all of this exciting.

Because my picture's changed.