Strange Sensations

Do you ever hear, see or smell something that brings a strong reminiscent, nostalgic feeling of "I've felt this before"?
I'm not sure exactly what it was that brought it, but I've been thinking, (feeling?) Little Women all day. When I say that, I'm referring to the fall musical of my senior year. And I don't know exactly what it is that's making me feel this way, or why I can catagorize it as that, exactly.
To summarize my feelings during that musical, I would use the words: stress, fear, momentum, work, envy, openness, accomplishment and nostalgia. Not always the most pleasant of sensations...yet today I remember it with feelings, and it's a good feeling.
Peculiar isn't it? I spent a lot of time Senior year wishing I was out of it, and a lot of time clinging to it for dear life. Looking back at this blog alone, a lot of crappy stuff happened, but I still look back on things fondly as time passes.

I wonder if people say that college is the best time of their lives for the very same reason.

Granted, I am having fun. Lots of it, in fact. I'm adjusting a lot better than I origionally believed I would. But it is different than people painted it. I don't feel any bigger, smarter or worldlier in my little over a month here. I'm still just Lauren, back in Freshman year...except it's a bigger place now. I can see upperclassmen as I saw them a couple years ago. Knowing that they were once in this spot, and knowing that I will be in their spots in coming years. Knowing that I'll be one of the loud, example setting Seniors in WOCO is an exciting feeling...
(We won the pep-rally cheering competition, Yell Like Hell, last night, much to the Statesmen's dismay. Go WOCO!)

I am glad to be at the point where aquaintences and shallow friendships are becoming deeper friendships built on more than "we have English class together" or "we both like Friends" (which, oh my goodness, Caitlin, Shauna and I can't stop watching to save our lives. It's week 3 and we're in Season 3 of 10. I'm sorry for not beliving how easy it is to start a series & need to finish it) I now have people I really feel like I can talk to about problems.

The one thing I am concerned about is people getting to know all of me. I feel like certain people only see certain sides: and for me to feel completely comfortable, they need to see that I'm deeper than one level. For example, the College Democrats, who I have been actively part of for over 2 weeks, needs to see more than just the loudmouth liberal- there's also morality and relgion making up a large part of my reasoning. And they don't know it yet. Same with bible study- it makes me feel like I'm kind of fake. I don't know how to let them see other facets of my life if we only ever talk about one thing...but that's the point of those groups, you know?

I can't grasp my words today. I need to get more sleep.

Peace & Love