Thoughts in Volume

i carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

- e.e. cummings

It speaks volumes of my life right now. dp is doing much better now that she is at home- she is happier there...she hasn't been downstairs in 5 months, and now she's there until the very end. That makes her happy, I think. She is being optimistic- it is hard to be sad when she is happy to be moving forward to something better. I know, somehow, she will continue to touch my life. I think fondly on the many ways she has touched my life, and it hurts to think that she will not be around me, physically, anymore. I pray that she is in the least amount of pain possible, in her last moments.

To address happier thoughts, I love my job. Working with kids reminds me of how badly I want to be a mom someday (SOMEDAY. not soon...dear goodness. swimming lessons are good enough for now.)
Along with working Mallard's Games (I hope), I'll definitely be doing a lot of teaching this summer. Gotsta pay for college, you know.

My head is a washing machine of thoughts that I mull over and over, thoughts that don't fit anywhere in this kind of entry. Perhaps tomorrow I will write more.

love,

Lauren