I guess you can't get invited to everything...

but really, I'm started to feel paranoid and frustrated.

I make choices for myself. I don't drink because I don't want to. I don't smoke because I don't want to. I don't do drugs because I don't want to. I think the use of substances to have a good time can be fake and I'd rather be sober. There are plenty of reasons I don't do these things, including family experiences. That's been my choice all of high school, and unless my opinion changes for some reason, I plan on sticking to it.

I wish people would just respect it and leave it alone.

And even though I don't drink, smoke or do drugs, I have plenty of friends that do. I'm not going to boss them around. A long time ago, over two years ago, I used to try to stop my friends from experimenting because I was always told it was wrong. I wanted to stop them before it started so it didn't get hurt. But I realized people do what they do and that's it. I sure don't like it when people push their hobbies on me, so I don't push mine on them. What I'm going to do is stay true to my beliefs and perhaps I'll be a role model to others who feel the same way. But I do this for myself. I've only got one shot with this body God gave me, and I want to keep it right, because I want to leave a long, full healthy life.

Yet even though my friends know that I am ok with them making their own choices, I'm left out of things sometimes. I had a friend try to "break it to me easy" on Friday that there would be drinking at a close friend's grad party. Big deal. Like I've never seen a keg of beer before. I wish people would stop ostracizing me for my beliefs. I'm not going to invite myself places. But it's not like I yell at people or look down on them because of their choices. No one is protecting me by leaving me out of things.

When I do hang out with my friends when they're getting drunk or high, it's not awkward. I don't feel uncomfortable not doing things, and I don't think they do either. I guess I'm just extra sensitive to not being invited places because I think it has something to do with my choices.

It's just hard to deal with not being invited sometimes.