Thinking Outrageously,

(I write in cursive, I hide in my bed with the lights on the floor) <- I'm crazy about Sufjan Stevens right now, as well as crazy in general. It's almost 1 in the morning and I just curled my hair for fun. After posting this I'm going to bed.

I just had a really great conversation with one of my friends a little less than an hour ago. She had had a lot to drink, but we had a really honest, awesome conversation. She told me that she really respects me going to parties and just hanging out, even though I don't drink. We talked awhile about why I used to be so scared of my friends drinking, and she told me her perspective that had never occurred before. I told her the reason I used to be scared was that I was afraid they wouldn't want to be friends with me anymore because I didn't want to drink. I figured the reason they never told me when they partied is because having me there would be no fun and I would be upset. She told me that she thought I wouldn't be friends with them if they drank, so they didn't tell me to stay friends with me. I could tell she was being honest.

I guess I'd never thought that my friendship was so important that they wouldn't tell me. I thought it was because I was a cop's daughter and I could tell on them. I feel great to be accepted for who I am and what I choose to and not to do. Sure, I still get jokes like "spike her drink" and "miss morally conservative" but they don't mean as much as the affection, advice and friendship I get from this people. Situations like tonight are only awkward if you make them so. I didn't feel awkward and neither did they.

College is approaching so rapidly, I can't even believe it. I will restate, this summer has been awesome. I have had so much more fun than I ever thought I would. And now I'm heading off to school, which will be more fun. I'll be independent. Self sufficient. Man that feels great!

And since this is a blog about bettering one's self, I made a list of things I want to change in college:

-No more procrastination
-Stronger will power (ties into procrastinating. when i say 'I need to exercise', I need to. When I say 'I need to finish that project' I've got to do it!)
-Better study skills
-No more awkward/shy meeting people. Confidence!
-Find new ways to connect with people
-Either stick to my guns or change things up (stay strong if it's something I care about, but otherwise be easy going and try new things!)
-Be openminded
-Don't worry SO MUCH
-Less drama overall.

I'll tell you all how I do on this. I hope to continue blogging at school even though I'm busy. Perhaps not as frequent, but this would be a let down without a few college updates :P

I'm starting to get sleepy, so I will take my curled hair to bed now.

Love!

-Lauren

p.s. In case you were all wondering, the rest of CFV was awesome, as usual. We saw The Dark Night at a drive in theatre, ran a few laps in the pouring rain and I had an amazing walk/talk wiht my aunt Sara. Perhaps a picture montage will do next post?