I am in a really awesome, clearheaded mood right now and I really wish I could keep this. For the amount of time I've spent hurting lately (especially today's been rough) this mood is the greatest thing ever.
It's a sense of strength, faith and peace that I have been searching for. I think Diana sent it. I was talking to her today, asking all of those questions I really need answers to, hoping to receive some kind of message from her. She was always such a strong woman - smart, quick witted and observant. She had what my lit teacher so fondly calls "the crap detector" turned on all the time. And tonight, I'm pretty sure she was telling me not to put up with a bunch of crap. I heard three consecutive songs on the radio that all made me think of her and they were all motivational.
I have nothing to lose by moving forward and looking ahead. That's what she wants me to do. That's what she told me to do, the last day I saw her.
So I'm really going to take some time for myself. I'm going to try to concentrate on my school work, my family and my faith. Especially the latter. I've been developing theories (I guess you could call them that) about faith lately. Perhaps I'll post them here.
I really hope I feel this way tomorrow.
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